Monday, June 8, 2015

My Recipe for a Successful School

Banquet Address 2015

Those who know me well, know that I enjoy cooking.  Those who have ever asked me for a recipe know that I am happy to share, but a bit hesitant or reluctant to do so because I‘m actually not quite sure of the exact measurements of my concoctions.  I will spare you and me the embarrassment of the Yiddish phrases I use to describe exactly how much of an ingredient is needed.   I sense when it looks right or feels right.

My senses tell me that the MHA/FYOS is the
piece de resistance of the Memphis community, and perhaps it is time for me to share the recipe.  

Let us begin with the ingredients

Start with 183 eager students - more students enrich this recipe and improve it over time.  No upper limit yet established.

40 + faculty members ( please take into consideration possible substitutes for unforeseen events, maternity leave, etc. )


3 administrators who spend their waking moments worrying, planning, running, teaching, meeting, putting out fires - well you know how it goes

3 loyal, upbeat, selfless office workers ( well actually, 5 would be better )

6-man ( or woman ) maintenance crew ready, willing, and able to plunge toilets, repair leaks, catch rats ( oops, did I really say that? ), mop floors, maintain antiquated heating and air conditioning equipment, and paint, paint, paint

1 exceptional cook who also serves as chief psychologist, confidante, and mom away from home for all dormers

2 dorm supervisors willing to enforce the rules and deal with breakdowns, and for that matter, all manner of breaks

3 dorm counselors on call day and night, happily relinquishing privacy and a personal life

2 Bat Ami girls who hardly ever sleep and when they do, are dreaming up new ways to celebrate living a Jewish life.

3 administrators, one for each division, who gave up personal lives, family, and sleep years ago and who are expert jugglers

1 Dean - be sure to select the model that comes with the following attachments: wooden spoon, rotary beaters, and whisk.  Appropriate attachment to be used depending upon altitude, humidity, and any other man-made or natural disasters

an entire community who feeds, nurtures, and role models Jewish values

a board who is committed to the continued existence of this institution, who is invested in its mission statement and who raises much needed dollars on an unprecedented level.

Now that we have the ingredients, these are the steps to follow.

Have the dean and administrators welcome the students into the aging building each morning, hoping nothing major will go wrong during the course of the day, that the firewall is intact, and the computer system will not crash.

Add the faculty, one by one, to ensure that the students get the education they deserve.

Add in the office staff to keep things together.  By now the consistency should be smooth, but sticky,  because the office staff really is the glue that keeps the institution running smoothly

At this point, check to make sure that the administrators are juggling all of their balls.  Pick up any stray balls and return to the designated administrator.

Gently sprinkle in all other ingredients generously throughout. Mix carefully by hand to guarantee proper consistency

Daven 3 times a day, recite the appropriate psalms, and thank the Almighty for singling out Memphis for being the unique place that it is.

Don’t forget to give tzedakah and take the opportunity to perform an act of chesed.

When ready to serve, make certain that the school is at the center of the table, placed on your most elegant silver serving platter.  It should have a place of honor for all to admire, respect, and take pride in.  May all who come to dine at your table carry forth the message that this school excels in academic achievements, love of Yiddishkeit, support for Israel, nurturing children, graduating poised, positive, competent men and women - the leaders of the next generation.

May the school and community continue to thrive and be blessed for at least the next 120 years. Hopefully, there will be a new building by then.

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